I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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