you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think your dad took our porno
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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