It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
