We won't sleep together?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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