she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
