How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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