what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
