I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
