I'm lost and stupid without you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
