Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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