I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
