i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
