But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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