She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
