I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
