make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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