He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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