She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I love having hate sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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