69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
