Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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