Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
