I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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