tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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