Sponge bath it is.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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