he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was confusing and full of hummus
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am available for nakedness
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
