do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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