was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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