brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Porn is love you can see.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
