So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A+ Viking dick
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
