ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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