i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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