I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My feet surprised me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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