We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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