You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
