Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
3 2 1 whiskey
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
