I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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