hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
