How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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