The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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