I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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