she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
