Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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