Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
