does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
