Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
