No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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