i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
