i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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