He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I need a burrito and a hug.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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