I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
