Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
