I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
